


The Joker's Best Jest, or Masks

by Eric



Category: Batman - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Bodyswap, F/M, Horror, Humor, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7146581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eric/pseuds/Eric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Joker's Monstrous Body is dying but he wants to play one last epic joke on the world. But what would it be? But will anyone else find it funny?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Joker's Best Jest, or Masks

The Joker's Best Jest  
Or Masks  
By Eric

  
The characters are owned by DC comics. I'm just playing with them.  
My thanks to Steve Zink, Prince of Editors

  
My face is a mask. But then, everyone's face is a mask. For that matter,   
so is virtue or evil or religion or justice. They're all masks. What are we left   
with but laughter and madness, and is there any end or depth to the   
madness in which we can plunge? I haven't found any. This made me   
laugh and laugh, my famous laugh. My laughter made the world tremble.   
Well, it should. As well it should – after all, I'm the famous Joker. I'm   
Madness, Madness Incarnate.

The crazy fools keep trying to 'cure' me, sending me to Arkham. They   
must realize there's no cure for my madness, but they put on the mask of   
rationality. And I think there is a mask of rationality. There must be!   
I laugh. Fools! They must know that the chemicals that poisoned my body   
and turned my face into this grinning monstrosity have so twisted my   
brain and body giving me the mask of divine madness.

He looked into a mirror to see the insanely grinning monster, and laughed   
and laughed. With his unmistakable twisted voice he said aloud, "I wonder   
how many beauty contests I could win with this face? Too funny.   
Sometimes I wonder why I just don't die laughing at how wonderful my life   
is?"

Roaring with laughter, he smashed the mirror. The world was littered with   
mirrors he'd smashed.

He laughed and laughed, knowing he was dying, it wouldn't be much   
longer. But before he departed this joyless existence, the world littered or   
choked with madness, he wanted to crown his criminal career with the   
world's greatest jest. But what? Killing Batman? Too prosaic, anyone   
could do that, even the bird dropping Penguin might manage that. He   
roared with laughter, thinking of Penguin always being mistaken for   
a headwaiter. Perhaps a raid on Wayne's Corp secret labs would be   
amusing. 'Yes,' he thought, 'they always have the most delightful toys like   
one I liberated that would cause almost instant and total dehydration. All   
the joy of watching someone see and feel their body shrivel up before their   
eyes. Most people don't know what they're missing! Or do they?' and he   
laughed.

* * * * *

So Joker took his terrified and faithful henchmen and broke in that night.   
He always thought his men were crazy to work for him.

He had the chief scientist literally pissing in his pants. That was always   
worth a laugh. His men roared with him.

The Clown Prince of Crime held up a strange looking gun in his gloved   
hand. "What do we have here? A body swapping gun that you're keeping   
secret from your beloved employer Mr. Bruce Wayne? You should be   
ashamed of yourself!"

Joker's grin became madder than ever. "Were you planning on being   
naughty and stealing poor Mr. Wayne's body and life?" He roared with   
laughter.

"Please, sir, let me live! I'll do anything!" Tears were streaming down his   
face and his pants were now soaked with urine.

"Well, if you tell me how this works, I promise I'll let you go free and not   
harm you in any way - everyone knows I always keep my promises. Right,   
boys?"

His men hurriedly agreed. It was one of Joker's best jests, he always kept   
his promises. His men thought he'd never make it in politics!

The scientist hurriedly explained how the gun worked, so the Clown   
Prince of Crime found out how the device worked, its range, and its   
limitations. He didn't laugh once during the explanation!

"Open a window, boys!" he commanded, and led poor Dr. Banks to it.

"But you promised to let me go and not hurt me!" the covering man   
pleaded.

Joker gigged, and everyone shuddered. "Oh, but I am letting you go   
free – right out this window!" and he hurled the screaming man out. He fell   
160 feet. "And I won't hurt you, but I can't be responsible for what the   
ground will do, that would be crazy!" He roared with laughter, and his men   
joined with him.

Joker pondered what to do with the devise? Who should he swap? Or   
should he just swap himself with someone. Now that would be a princely   
jest, to trade his dying, monstrous body with someone's wonderful,   
healthy young body. What a joke that would be! Brilliant, if he did say so   
himself, and he did say so. But whom – the first thought that came to   
mind was Batman, but where was the wit in that? Very dull and   
unimaginative. No, that wouldn't do, neither did Robin. He was just   
a sissified Batman wearing tights. Perhaps Police Commissioner Gordon?   
He laughed. More thought was needed, and he would hit on the right   
person to grace with his body and identity!

Amused, he laughed. Yes, what a treat it would be for anyone to be him.   
What a treat indeed. Of course, his current gang would have to go and   
actually go right now, before anyone of them talked about the body   
swapping gun. The trouble with dealing with criminals is that they were so   
untrustworthy! And Joker laughed again. If needed, he could always get   
another gang, the world after all had no shortage of crooks....

Now, it did have an honest man shortage.

Joker called his men in and sprayed them with the dehydrating jell, and   
soon all he had to do was sweep up the dust. 'A madman's work is never   
done,' he thought. And he laughed.

That morning as usual, he awoke with a smile on his face. Of course, he   
woke up every morning with the ghastly grin of a corpse, or a joker, but   
this was a happy smile underneath the mad mask.

The thought of Commissioner Gordon to swap with was a mistake, but as   
was so often the case, they led to enlightenment.

He looked up Gordon's daughter, Barbara, in his data base.

"Let's see, 24, unmarried, had a small trust from her mother's estate.   
HA, HA, HA, she's drop dead gorgeous, and is a part time librarian! And   
best of all...ta-da she's a batty girl...batty batty Batgirl! TOO FUNNY!"

As he had discovered long ago, she was also Batgirl.

Joker roared with laughter until tears rolled down his corpse like face. She   
was perfect. PERFECT. What a great jest on the world. He, the 'evil'   
madman, Joker, would become her, Miss Barbara Gordon! HER father   
was the police commissioner and she worked to catch criminals with   
Batbrain! Poor, humorless Batman. She might object to becoming him,   
dying and ugly, and of course mad, but young people didn't know what   
was good for them! And he giggled again. No doubt it would be a Princely   
Jest, one to crown his glorious career. What a great trick to play upon the   
world, a divine madness. He would be the virtuous and beautiful Barbara   
Gordon and she, lucky girl, would be him, the mad clown, mad Prince of   
Crime, of course he was as ugly as sin, dying and crazy.

"But as Joe E Brown says in Some Like It Hot – 'Nobody's perfect!'" Joker   
said, laughing. What a great last line, fitting for a mad movie, it was   
Joker's favorite film. "Nobody's perfect!"

So true. So very true! He laughed again and began plotting. It would be his   
final crime, so it must be worthy of his genius. He owed it after all to the  world.

* * * * *

Barbara Gordon, Batgirl, was feeling resentful. Batman refused to   
acknowledge her skills and contributions – as she was just a girl. She   
burned to prove him wrong. She heard some mutterings in the library.   
Frowning, she went over to quiet the offenders, but then her keen ears   
heard the word Joker. She stopped to listen. Two teenagers were working   
for Joker and had made copies of the original water works plans and were   
to bring them to the evil madman. Barbara shuddered, and wondered what   
monstrous things Joker might do with them?

"I'm taking my lunch now," she said to her supervisor, who knew better   
than to say anything to the commissioner's daughter. Her beautiful and   
agile body hurried to her secret closet and dressed in her Batgirl costume.   
She thought of trying to reach Batman, but remembered he was out of   
town. 'I can take care of myself, and I can do it without any help!' Babs   
had heard that Joker had no gang at the moment, she knew from the   
chatter on the street, and he'd be hard pressed to get any as he'd   
murdered all of his last gang. 'Joker obviously is all for capital punishment,'   
Barbara thought ironically. 'These two scrawny teens probably are too   
stupid to know,' she thought.

With her Bat Bike she followed the teens as they made their way on their   
ten speeds to a deserted warehouse. Joker was as good as caught. She   
didn't fear a battle with him, she was a strong agile marital artist, a highly   
trained young woman, and he was an old, dying, pathetic excuse of   
a man.

She spotted an open window three stories up. Perfect. Using her version   
of the batarang she was able to scale the wall and looked down on the   
warehouse floor. Joker had obviously paid off the kids and they were now   
leaving, joking about, "Now, that was easy money!"

She carefully made her way on top of stacked boxes. There he was,   
Joker, in a ghastly purple suit at a table bent over studying the plans.   
Batgirl hurled knockout pellets at him. He didn't budge! Surprised, she   
looked again and then heard the unmistaken voice of Joker laughing   
madly.

"Just a dummy, Batgirl – just like you are."

She whirled around and spotted Joker, he was laughing as only he could,   
and was pointing some strange gun at her. Before she could move,   
something hit her. Barbara felt like her very soul was being ripped from her   
body. Her agony was indescribable, agony beyond the physical and she   
lost consciousness. Slowly with muscles that were somehow weary and   
painful, she started to move. Then she heard a young woman laughing,   
hysterically. Her vision cleared. She saw herself, HERSELF! Laughing at   
her and pointing ecstatically.

"Na-na-ahh! I've got your body now! And you have mine. Isn't that a great   
joke, Batbabe!"

Paralyzed with horror, Barbara could only watch as her beautiful young   
body ran lightly toward her and, using a beautiful high heeled boot,   
smashed the silicate apparatus into useless junk.

"This is too dangerous to be left lying around, don’t you think? Why, some   
madman might use it for evil purposes!" The beautiful young woman   
giggled.

The horror of what happened and the pain and horror in the new body   
overwhelmed Barbara, and she found herself herself roaring with laughter.   
She was now the mad criminal, Joker, and he was now her, Barbara   
Gordon, Batgirl, and the Police Commissioner's daughter! Even with her   
horror, she had to admit it was a brilliant jest on the world.

The lovely woman continued to smash the delicate gun beneath her bat   
boots to junk.

The new Joker tried to stand up, rise and scream, but was interrupted as   
the new Batgirl paralyzed 'Joker' in this new body with her own special bat   
gas.

The new Batgirl smiled with satisfaction and bound the ugly man with her   
bat cuffs. Lithely she danced to the side of the room and wheeled a large   
body length mirror over to position it in front of the paralyzed 'Joker'.

"Feast your eyes on your new body! What a gift! What a joy? I bet you're   
filled with laughter at the sight of your amazing new body! A major   
upgrade, wouldn't you say?" she said, grinning happily and dancing   
around. She felt wonderful. Her thoughts were clear of the poison and so   
was this new wonderful young body.

A horrified Barbara stared into the mirror, at the ghastly horrific mask-like   
face, this wasn't her, it couldn't be HER! She now possessed the green   
hair, ghastly corpse like skin and insane grin of a mad demon. Yet when   
she moved, it moved. Barbara couldn't take her eyes off the image, it drew   
her, called to her, fascinated her.

The madness and the impossible horror of the situation overwhelmed her   
mind and sanity, and she fought it fruitlessly! Barbara felt it in her gut,   
bubbling up and focused on stopping it. She fought against surrendering in   
and despite herself, despite her discipline the madness, the poison in her   
new body and brain rose within her, and then Barbara began to laugh.   
A giggle at first, but it grew and grew until she was roaring with laughter.   
Mad laughter as her mind fled down the dark tunnels of madness.   
Madness was all that was left. This couldn't be possible. This couldn't   
have happened...but it did. It got funnier the more she thought about it,   
filled with more of the divine humor. Joker had pulled off his greatest Jest   
on the world. Now Joker was a she, a woman, the young Barbara Gordon,   
the daughter of the police commissioner! While she, Barbara, she was   
now the mad criminal! Now she was a vile man with an ocean of blood   
and crimes on his hands. Somehow it was too funny. Almost   
Dionysusian in its madness.

"I'm glad and flattered that you appreciate my greatest joke! A Divine Joke   
on an unappreciative world."

The new Batgirl went around and gazed into the mirror with satisfaction.   
"Beauty and the beast!" the new girl said gleefully with satisfaction. "I've   
always loved fairy tales, didn't you?" she said in her lovely, educated voice.

Barbara couldn't help but laugh at this. The madness of the situation grew   
like a poisonous plant in her new body and brain.

"Now what? Are you going to kill me? To cover up what you've done? So   
I can't tell the world who I am and who you are?"

Her new body ached, in fact her body was filled with pain, her only succor   
was in the laughter. And this made her laugh even harder, Joker had her   
healthy young body and she had his poisoned, ghastly one. It was divinely   
epic in its madness.

The beautiful young face smiled gently and tut tuted. "Hardly, would I, the   
daughter of Commissioner Gordon, do such a naughty, illegal thing? No,   
Joker, I'm just going to return you to Arkham Asylum where they'll labor   
mightily to cure your madness."

Barbara now could see, and even appreciate the depth of Joker's last jest,   
the horror of it.

"So I can tell the truth, and no one will believe me nor give any credence   
to it?!"

Barbara had to admit it was the icing on the cake of Joker's jest. And   
despite her horror or perhaps because of it she, now he, started laughing   
uncontrollably. The horror was too great to bear, and so the only escape   
was into madness. It was, after all, very funny. Too funny for sanity! Too   
funny for the world! Only hell could appreciate its pure, mad evil. The new   
Joker laughed all the way to Arkham. He couldn't help himself, madness   
was a great escape from the world, from his new self, from the   
monstrously ugly body and the twisted ghastly omnipresent new mask he   
now, and forever more, must wear. Henceforth only by this horrified mask   
would he be seen and see the world.

* * * * *

The doctors and administrators at the hellish Arkham asylum were so   
delighted when the beautiful Batgirl showed up with the mad criminal   
Joker.

"Now he can be back in a padded cell where he belongs," the head   
administrator said with immense satisfaction.

"You fools," Joker laughed, "don't you realize that you're bottomless fools.   
I'm Batgirl and she's Joker! Joker stole my real lovely young body, and   
she's counting on you not to believe it!" He roared with laughter. "Don't   
you see it. I'm not crazy, I just sound that way! I only look like Joker. It's   
too crazy, too funny for words! I'm really Batgirl and she's really Joker.   
Don't you see his brilliant design?! Don't you see the humor?!"

"Madder than ever!" muttered the head doctor, "Madder than ever!"

This made Joker laugh even louder. "Of course, what else could fools like   
you believe?"

Joker struggled as a straightjacket was put on his body and he was thrust   
violently into a padded cell. An orderly muttered into his ear, "We kept   
your old cell for you, asshole!" and secretly punched the mad, murdering   
fiend.

The loudly laughing ghastly monster of a man heard someone say, "Thank   
you, Batgirl. You've done us all a great service, to Gotham getting that evil   
madman off the streets."

"Believe me, it was a pleasure. I hope there's some way you can cure the   
poor, old man. Before he dies!"

The doctor shook his head slowly. "We'll try, Batgirl. But I don't hold out   
much hope. He seems madder than ever. The poison in his body is really   
too much to overcome. It negates anything we might do for him. But we'll   
of course try. Tomorrow we'll start on another round of shock treatments."

The beautiful girl smiled at the thought. "Well, I must be going."

"Thanks again, Batgirl! You've done a great service, we won't forget. Not   
only for your city, but humanity in general. No one was safe with such   
a madman at large, we'll triple our precautions! He'll never escape again!"

"That's a comfort! But let me suggest a new precaution." She handed over   
a printed page, and they nodded and agreed.

The madman, as the door closed on his cell, roared with laughter,   
“FOOLS! FOOLS! Such monumental folly! That's not me! That's the real   
Joker hiding behind the mask of my face! This horrible face I now wear is   
just a mask, his mask!" He roared with mad laughter. "NO, I see you don't   
see. FOOLS! You're crazy! Not me!" The door clang shut, drowning out   
the last of his wild and crazy laughter.

Barbara smiled politely to the staff's requests and posed for autographed   
pictures. It was wonderful to be loved and admired. Later, and with   
a satisfied smile, she drove home. She decided not to go 'back' to the   
library but, satisfied of a good day's work, decided home was the place.   
Her cell phone rang. It was her new dad.

"Hi, daddy, what's up?" she said brightly into the phone.

"Great news, hon, Batgirl has caught Joker and the madman is safely   
back in Arkham where he belongs."

"Now that is wonderful news, dad!"

She smiled at calling the police commissioner dad. It was such a grand   
jest. But she wasn't going to spoil it with ill timed laughter. No, she'd leave   
that to the new Joker.

At home, 'Barbara' admired her beautiful body in the mirror and started   
trying on some of her sexiest clothes. No more ghastly purple suits for   
her. She spoke out loud in her lovely voice, "This is such a great new face   
to wear. A new face that is such a lovely new mask." She laughed lightly.   
"It's a divine improvement over what I used to see in the mirror."

And now there would be no more string of broken mirrors because she no   
longer hated what they showed. She fell asleep that night in a comfortable   
bed and body. For the first time in many, many miserable years she was   
pain free, no longer a prisoner in a poisoned, ugly, and hated body.

That morning, for the first time in living memory, she awoke with   
a real – A REAL SMILE on her face. The new Barbara went to the mirror,   
delighted by what she saw.

DELIGHTED!

She didn't greet the day with mad laugher. Just with a simple smile. Not   
a grimace, no longer staring into a mad corpse-like face and ghastly mad   
grin. Using this new beautiful image, she experimented with the many   
faces, many masks, if you will, that she could now look make in the   
mirror, she could be joyful, sad, flirty, yes, even flirty, now! She could be  anything she wanted. Barbara threw her arms skyward and danced   
joyfully, even ecstatically around the room, delighted in her grace,   
lithesomeness and beauty. Life was magnificent! The new Barbara   
decided to take a bubble bath and experience enjoying the sensuous feel   
of her body. The simple pleasure of her sexy flesh soaking in warm rose   
scented water, and the humble enjoyment of her beauty.

* * * * *

Inside the grim, hopeless, hellish walls of Arkham, the new Joker was   
getting an electric shock treatment. He screamed in agony, but couldn't   
help laughing, laughing madly. The former Joker's last jest was so funny   
and would keep on becoming funnier and funnier and would likely go on   
forever. Until he escaped and found a way to play his own joke on   
Batman, the new Batgirl, Nightwing...hell, even on the world!

* * * * *

In a charming, feminine apartment, full of light and beautifully furnished,   
the new Barbara dressed for work pondering her new limitless future.   
What was she going to do with this delightful and lovely new life? She   
smiled happily at the beautiful young woman in the mirror. It was   
wonderful to be beautiful, no more would people shudder looking at her.   
Later at the library, everyone smiled at and liked her. That was a great   
feeling. She couldn't ever remember that feeling before. Later, arriving   
home, she made a decision - she would give up HER career as a crime   
fighter. No more being Batgirl. No more hiding behind masks for her.   
Besides, fighting crime was hardly ladylike.

Dick Grayson called her up and asked for a dinner date. She was   
delighted. If she handled him right, maybe she might even have sex!   
Which she hadn't had in years, as the vile Joker body was impotent   
because of the poisons. She knew from reading HER diary and other   
sources of info that Dick loved her and wanted her to give up crime fighting   
to be with him. The thought of being a woman with a loving husband and   
secure life was very appealing to the new Barbara. Her body seemed to   
crave it.

After a wonderful dinner and over a great wine in a wonderful restaurant   
owned by Bruce Wayne, Dick said, "Now, Barbara, don't bite my head off,   
but I wish you'd reconsider giving up being Batgirl! It's just too dangerous   
for a woman."

Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed him. Her wonderful new body   
felt like that was the right thing to do. "Very well, Dick darling. I promise."

His face flushed with pleasure. "You mean it?"

"Of course, darling. Of course I'll give up crime fighting – after all, it's   
hardly something for a lady."

Then Dick, overcome by the romance of the moment, was taken by an   
inane impulse and got down on a knee and said, "My beautiful, sexy   
Barbara, will you marry me?"

She was so happy! Not only would she be a wife and married to Batman's   
ward, but it was like adding whipped cream and cherries to her wonderful   
jest.

"Oh yes, my darling!" the beautiful twenty-four-year-old girl replied, and   
she kissed her lover passionately. Then arm in arm, they went to his   
apartment. That night they had wild, passionate sex that left the new   
Barbara gasping in pleasure and with each experience, she was delighted   
in the mysteries of the female orgasm. Dick's young rod pushing into her   
healthy and vital body had pushed her into climax after climax until the   
new Barbara couldn't think straight.

Dick kept murmuring over and over, "Barbara, you're so sexy and beautiful   
and now you're like a madwoman in bed! I love it!"

Barbara giggled contentedly. It was wonderful to feel so sexy, so loved,   
and she loved Dick's iron hard cock thrusting, filling her inner most   
depths, filling her silken softness. They spent the entire evening making   
love to with each other until finally at dawn Dick fell into a happy sleep.   
Barbara fell asleep soon after in her lover's arms, spooning another person  for the first time in her life. Her last thought was of Joker, she hoped he   
was comfortable in his straightjacket.

* * * * *

In his padded cell, Joker was laughing, wondering how the new Barbara   
was doing and if anyone had noticed anything behind the mask of   
a perfect feminine and beautiful face?

Joker soon learned that Dick Greyson and Barbara Gordon were engaged.   
That thought made him roar with laughter. That was just too funny, too   
wildly mad for thought, for words, for anything but laughter.

The captain of the guard soon approached Joker. The man whispered,   
"Things have calmed down, everyone's diligence is back to dull and   
uncaring. For the usual three hundred grand, I'll smuggle you out. I know  your word is good for this from past experience, Joker."

This made the new Joker laugh appreciatively. How funny, one of the real   
Joker's cronies was helping him escape, too funny for words. The man   
stripped off the straightjacket and led whom he thought was Joker to   
a section of wall. The guard pressed a hidden button and the wall opened.

"My granddad built this into the building during first construction. God   
bless the old fart, the family has made millions using it ever since, and   
the fools running this hell hole have never cottoned on."

Joker laughed loudly. "Yes, they're fools all right. Thank god that fools are   
like the sun, they shine everywhere."

"Ain't that the truth, Joker!"

The guard was directed to the warehouse where the switch had occurred,   
while the person who now lived inside Joker's monstrous body was   
thinking. 'Since I don't know where the real Joker has his piggy bank (this   
thought made him giggle) I guess the guard will have to go. Tis true, tis   
a pity, but it'll be so funny.'

Picking up the dehydrating spray gel, Joker used it on the startled man.

"I'm going to be debt free, drying up all my obligations!" He started roaring   
as the startled man began to shrivel into dusty death.

"But you promised," the dying guard gasped.

"I know, and I can see why you were easily fooled as I hardly look like   
a monster who would be a welsher." This made 'Joker' roar and roar with   
appreciative laughter.

As he dressed in the dummy's purple suit, the new madman began   
planning. Unfortunately, the new Batgirl had taken away even the remains   
of the mind-switching gun. So going back wasn't going to be easy. He   
laughed in appreciation of the original Joker's brilliance. What a great jest,   
it just kept being better than ever.

"I think I'll torture Nitwit to death! How dare he get engaged to the wrong   
Barbara, I guess like most men he can't look past the mask of a pretty   
face. Then I'll top the jest by killing Batman, something the original  couldn't do. And I need money and I don't think I could get a loan from   
a bank." The thought of going into a bank and qualifying for a loan was   
just too hilarious.

So the new Joker broke into the mansion of a former and stuck up vain   
classmate. Even when he was Barbara, she'd never liked her. He grabbed   
the screaming girl and held a very sharp knife to her throat as the girl's   
father trembled. Both of them were naturally terrified confronted by the   
monster who was Joker.

"I want the five hundred thousand in the laundered money you keep in your   
safe, or I'll make this bitch almost as pretty as me. I know this will get me  in trouble with the AMA for practicing medicine without a license!" He  roared with laughter.

Both dad and daughter screamed with terror as they heard this from the   
world famous monster.

Then Nightwing and Batman broke in, and Nightwing pressed a remote   
and Joker found himself totally unable to move and collapsed on the floor.

The girl hurled herself into Nightwing's arms and attempted to kiss him.   
Nightwing prudently avoided her, thinking rightly that Barbara would be   
vexed.

"How?" asked the dad. "Not that we're complaining, but you were like the   
Calvary arriving in the nick of time."

"You can thank Batgirl. She was afraid that Joker would escape again, so   
she secretly had a radioactive capsule placed within Joker's body as well   
as a device that would totally paralyze the madman when activated. She's   
the real hero here!" Dick said proudly. Once gain, his beautiful Barbara   
had saved the day and led to the capture of the evil Joker.

When the monster was able to move again, he couldn't help but laugh and   
laugh as he was returned to Arkham. The original Joker's great jest, like   
the energizer bunny, just keep on giving. It was brilliant, he felt, just too   
brilliant, as brilliant as hell. On getting back to Arkham's 'welcoming walls',   
Joker also found out that they were able to track how he'd escaped and   
were sealing up the door. Some people were going to lose their jobs over   
this, he laughed.

"Where's Captain Hodge, the man who broke his sacred trust and helped   
you escape?"

"To capture him, you'll just need a broom and dust pan! They lead the way   
to dusty deaths!” Joker laughed, and he was returned to the padded cell.   
Shock treatment tomorrow of course, he heard. 'Too funny, too funny for   
reality, it's fit only for madness or hell. The real Joker is in my beautiful   
and healthy young body and I'm in this one, dying and crazy beyond   
belief. Which one of us is the lucky one?' He laughed and laughed.

The people hearing Joker shuddered, they couldn't help it. No one ever   
had a laugh that could match the hellish madness in Joker's.

* * * * *

Joker's mad musings on what the new Barbara Gordon was doing were   
partly answered a year later when the slowly dying madman learned on   
the social news that Barbara Gordon, socialite, daughter of the Police   
Commissioner, was being wedded to Richard Greyson, Bruce Wayne's   
former ward, on Friday. That tidbit made him roar with mad laughter. This   
was the cream of the original Joker's jest. Even he found it so! And he   
laughed and laughed and with even more madness. What else was there   
to do but laugh?

"Same old Joker," muttered the guards drawing back in distaste from the   
ghastly, ugly, wild eyed madman.

  
Epilogue

Barbara Gordon was a beautiful bride on her father's proud arm when she   
married Dick. Bruce Wayne insisted on paying for the wedding and it was   
the talk of Gotham for years.

Barbara became a world famous socialite and she headed many charities,   
including one for the mentally ill.

She was also a gifted writer and won a Pulitzer Prize for her world famous   
and monumental work on criminal psychology. The chapter on the Mad   
Joker was especially insightful. Even when she was pregnant with her   
first child, she had bravely interviewed Joker at Arkham. He couldn't stop   
laughing meeting Barbara. Seeing her wedding ring and that she was   
married to Dick Grayson and was having a baby seemed to push Joker   
into gales of laughter.

Barbara and Dick had three wonderful children and she was a devoted wife   
and mom. Dick was so happy at what a wild woman she was in bed.

A few years later, Joker died in his cell mad to the last. The poisons in his   
ghastly body finally killed him. It was decided to bury the evil madman in   
an unmarked grave to make sure he didn't grow a cult following and weird   
visuals at his gravesite.

Batman attended, and so did Nightwing. Barbara also came, but not in   
costume as Batgirl.

"Why?" Batman wondered.

She just smiled like an angel and replied, "I'm through with Masks."

  
The end

 


End file.
